Tuesday, 29 December 2009


Audience-Pleasing Acronym

Hilarious, thigh-slapping response to every partially pugnacious Presidential pronouncement, a well-executed Formerly Known As The War On Terror! sets 'em rollin' and rockin' with ROFL as Decent funnybones are tickled and sides split.

Generally deployed after any statement from Barack Obama indicating that he favours attacking terrorists rather than fellating them, FKATWOT implies the following concepts...

1) That, contrary to Barack Obama's election pledges to continue occupying Afghanistan and to keep bombing terrorists and wedding parties, Chardonnay-sipping Hampstead Guardianistas and Bien Pensant Islingtonian Liberals had feverishly hoped that Barack Obama would instead abolish the armed forces of the United States and erect a golden temple to Osama Bin Laden on the former site of the World Trade Center, and that

2) Barack Obama has in fact continued to occupy Afghanistan and bomb terrorists and wedding parties.

Taken in conjunction, these twin concepts create a chucklesome comedy cocktail of bladder-bursting proportions, causing Decents to literally explode in a puff of hilarity.

Source: Obama said "violent extremists!" FKATWOT! LMAO! by Professor Norm.

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

The Souls of Secret Policemen

"No novelist with any talent just deals with political themes, and readers who scour their books for ideological clues have the souls of secret policemen".
- Nick Cohen, December 2009

"...so consistent was the pro-Islamist party line in the BBC’s drama it seemed as if a politburo had taken control of the arts department". Nick Cohen, December 2007

See also here: Nick on the foul Islamofascistical subtext of Robin Hood; Nick on the foul appeasement of Spooks; Nick on the foul moral blindness of Die Hard 4.

Here: Nick on the foul, wilful blindness to Islamofascism of The Bourne Identity; Nick on the foul, disgusting unwillingness of James Bond to tackle Islamofascism; Nick on the foul appeasement of Spooks (again).

Mainstream Liberal Culture.

Tuesday, 15 December 2009


Beacon/Travesty of Justice

1. Enlightened group of Solomonic Solons gathered to pass impartial judgement upon the innocence and ironclad moral rectitude of the Prime Minister and to sentence fork-tongued reporters and mendacious public service broadcasters to hard labour in the grim Gulag of journalistic disgrace.

Unimpeachable tribunes of even-handed justice, investigating and rejecting out of hand grotesque litanies of false accusation against pure-hearted politicians in the spirit of non-partisan free inquiry, whose decision is final.

2. Despicable kangaroo court of politically-motivated liars, con men, mountebanks and bastards gathered to orchestrate the public lynching of the Prime Minister in an epic assault upon truth and justice.

A great troupe of cackling, pro-terror chimpanzees gathered to hurl great handfuls of faeces into the wide-eyed, trusting faces of pure-hearted politicians, unless their report absolves the Prime Minister of wrongdoing, in which case see 1.

Thursday, 3 December 2009

The Week In Decency - Twitter

Chilcot Iraq inquiry to find Blair innocent! No laughing until you've read the postgraduate thesis they'll plagiarise to justify their findings.

Hooray! Benny Morris threatens Israel's neighbours with World War III, calls US President a pussy.

Hitchens - Evil people do evil things because they are evil. An intellectual titan - Norm agrees, by the way.

Law and order hawks - Pitbulls make excellent guard dogs if you're worried about being burgled by toddlers.

Swiss racists - disguise your bigotry by forbidding all religious people from putting minarets in their mosques, and not just Muslims. (Note on the text - this is rather like setting strict laws on what both men and women can do with their own vaginas).

Harry's Place - Encourage the French to commit more troops to our military clusterfucks by calling them cowardly wretches.

Celtic v Hapoel Tel Aviv - As a Hoops fan, I say no political protest at the game. There's no place at Parkhead for religion or politics.

Hook-handed extremist clerics - Improve your life expectancy by avoiding clocks, crocodiles and any clock/crocodile-related activities.

Peak Soviet forces in Afghanistan - 115,000 troops. 130,000 coalition troops will defo do the trick this time tho. Go Obama!

Would it be moral to clone Adolf Hitler, then immediately have him shot for war crimes? Note - if you answered "No," then you are a Nazi.

Actually, if I could clone anyone, it'd be Pablo Picasso, so that I could call him an asshole, just to infuriate the Modern Lovers.

When Seal wrote "Crazy," he clearly wasn't talking about CifWatch or he would've called it "Wonk-Wonk Fuckadoodle Bugshit". (No we're never gonna survive, unless...)

Daily diatribes on Decent developments here.



Bizarre ethnoreligious insult used by wackadoodle wingnuts to demean and disregard the opinions of non-wingnut members of the Jewish faith that this writer, for one, is not touching with a fucking bargepole.

Sunday, 29 November 2009

The Hitchens Formula

Income-generating wheeze

Rhetorical cash cow guaranteeing regular payments of Decent Dole to newspaper columnists who have become too senile and incoherent to earn a living, as regularly paid by Slate, The Guardian, Standpoint and the Times.

Originally attributed to Comrade Hitchens, the Formula is expressed thusly...

Did (American action X) cause (atrocity Y)? No!

Rinse and repeat as needed. See also: Condemnit!

Sunday, 22 November 2009


Contradictory Plebiscitory and Representative Process

Electoral procedure whereby citizens vote for candidates ostentatiously supported by Decents.

Not to be confused with totalitarianism, whereby citizens vote for candidates ostentatiously Condemned by Decents.

Democracy in Action - A Quick Guide To National Elections

1. Formal procedure by which Iraqi democrats appoint Islamists with links to unsavoury terrorist groups as their official representatives and rulers.

The ultimate expression of the will of the Iraqi people, demonstrating their immense hunger for freedom.


2. Formal procedure by which Palestinian fascists appoint Islamists from unsavoury terrorist groups as their official representatives and rulers.

The ultimate expression of the will of the Palestinian people, demonstrating their immense hunger for genocide.


3. Formal procedure by which a US-installed and supported former Unocal oil consultant and ex-CIA asset appoints himself as the Afghan people's official representative and ruler.

The ultimate expression of the will of Hamid Karzai, although of course not representative of the will of the government of the United States nor their intelligence services, who frown upon election-rigging in countries that they militarily occupy and over which they exercise de facto control.


4. Formal process by which Iranian democrats appoint the clerical fascist former prime minister of the Islamic Republic and right-hand man of Ayatollah Khomeini, and actually get Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as their official representative and ruler.

The ultimate expression of the will of the Iranian people, contingent upon the Iranian opposition remaining out of power. Should the opposition actually take power, they will instantly cease to be democrats and revert to being horrifying, totalitarian fascist monsters thirsting for war and genocide.

Supported! unless they actually win, at which point they will be immediately Condemned!

5. Formal process by which Venezuelan idiots vote for the terrifying socialist monster Hugo Chavez as their Supreme Dictator-For-Life.

The ultimate expression of the will of the people, demonstrating their immense thirst for a Thousand-Year Reich of bloody Bolivarian horror.


6. Formal process by which Lebanese democrats appoint whichever Armani-suited warlord or gangster shares their ethno-religious identity as their official representative and ruler.

The ultimate expression of the will of the Lebanese people, demonstrating their immense hatred for Hezbollah and warm, near-sexual affection for states that periodically invade, strafe and cluster bomb their country.


7. Formal process by which Spanish pussies are intimidated into appointing anti-war appeasers of fascism as their official rulers and representatives.

The ultimate expression of the cowardice of the Spanish people, demonstrating their pitiful, wimpish inability to take a few terrorist bombings and bullshit government propaganda efforts without going all weak at the knees and bowing before fascists.



Final analysis of the Afghan election is contingent upon the outcome of Hitchens vs. United Nations, currently being heard before the Court of Decency.

Case summary: Hitchens observes blatant electoral fraud perpetrated by a US-installed and supported former Unocal oil consultant and ex-CIA asset in an epic campaign of ballot stuffing, and concludes that said fraud is entirely the fault of the United Nations. Hitchens further commends the ultimately futile efforts of the Americans to prevent the theft of the election by the candidate that they have both financially and politically backed for decades.

Judgement pending; Full text of Hitchens' petition here.

Saturday, 21 November 2009

Israel Lobby

Actually Existing Imaginary Political Tendency

1. Make-believe intergalactic clan of Hebraic space lizards plotting the domination of Earth through the deployment of satellite lazers, telepathic mind-control and insidious tentacle porn, beloved of black helicopter-fearing, Reptilian-sniffing internet 9/11 Truther mentals.

Despicable, ludicrous fictional conspiracy theory, referred to solely by racists.

2. Actually existing in reality Anglo-American political tendency entirely composed of headbanging right wing fruitcake fucknuts, loudly and openly demanding deranged foreign policy initiatives and military carnage from positions within some of the world's most highly respected universities, political forums and best-selling newspapers.

Entirely unremarkable group of individuals engaged in thoroughly commonplace and humdrum attempts to influence government policy and public opinion through the medium of the popular press and glorified cheese and wine parties, any reference to the existence of which is racist in the extreme.

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Goldstone Condemnathon

Following the UN General Council vote to endorse the Goldstone Report, the Encyclopedia of Decency hereby condemns Afghanistan, Albania, Algeria, Angola, Antigua and Barbuda, Argentina, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Bahamas, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Barbados, Belarus, Belize, Benin, Bolivia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Botswana, Brazil, Brunei Darussalam, Cambodia, Central African Republic, Chad, Chile, China, Comoros, Congo, Cuba, Cyprus, Democratic People's Republic of Korea, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Djibouti, Dominica, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Egypt, El Salvador, Eritrea, Gabon, Gambia, Ghana, Grenada, Guatemala, Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Guyana, Haiti, India, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Ireland, Jamaica, Jordan, Kazakhstan, Kuwait, Lao People's Democratic Republic, Lebanon, Lesotho, Libya, Malawi, Malaysia, Maldives, Mali, Malta, Mauritania, Mauritius, Mexico, Mongolia, Morocco, Mozambique, Myanmar, Namibia, Nepal, Nicaragua, Niger, Nigeria, Oman, Pakistan, Paraguay, Peru, Philippines, Portugal, Qatar, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Serbia, Sierra Leone, Singapore, Slovenia, Solomon Islands, Somalia, South Africa, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Suriname, Switzerland, Syria, Tajikistan, Thailand, Timor-Leste, Trinidad and Tobago, Tunisia, Turkey, United Arab Emirates, United Republic of Tanzania, Uzbekistan, Venezuela, Viet Nam, Yemen, Zambia and Zimbabwe.

Foul, genocidal racists directly supporting the terrorist assault on democracy itself. They should all be ashamed of themselves, especially Antigua and Barbuda. They're the worst racists of all.

You Don't Have To Be a Muslim To Be Furiously Denounced, But It Helps

It seems like The Encyclopedia of Decency is in trouble with the chardonnay-swilling, braying, hooray Henry bien-pensant community again. Brie-scoffing, pony-trotting posho elitist Penny Laurie posts these words about us at The Samosa...

The Encyclopedia of Decency has pursued what has been seen as a "witch hunt" against any Muslim or Muslim-ally who does not fit the site editors' strict definition of "moderation"; to whit, near non-involvement in politics.

Oh dear, that old failure to distinguish between two entirely different, obviously unconnected things again. Laurie's unfounded accusation that we engage in politically-motivated smear campaigns and ad hominem attacks on dissenters is exactly what we'd expect from a painfully right-on upper middle class permastudent with a great, throbbing boner for Islamist fascism.

Let's get this clear. The Encylopedia is - inter alia - a website to which those individuals who hold deranged, belligerent hardline right wing views on a wide variety of national and international issues are welcome to contribute, provided they are willing to coat their wingnutty babble in a thick layer of faux-lefty bullshit about anti-racism.

We're against baleful theocratic conspiracies against democracy that threaten to hold the scimitar of head-chopping Islamic law to the neck of the human race, and we pull no punches in writing snotty blog posts about those who are in favour of such set ups, no matter how Muslim they are.

In short - you don't have to be a Muslim to be repeatedly and vociferously denounced as a brutal threat to peace and freedom in a frenzied circle-jerk of ever-increasing paranoia, but it helps.

I should clarify something else too. The Encyclopedia is not a racist hate site, although anyone who came here looking for endless, inflammatory booga-booga scaremongering about one particular minority religious group certainly wouldn't be disappointed.

The Encyclopedia is more of a voluntary police action aimed at a) defining our own fucknut, rah-rah pom-pom waving for one-sided violence as the outermost boundary of acceptable opinion and b) sending great snarling packs of feral right wing bigots snapping at the heels of those with the temerity to differ.

Nonetheless, it is far easier to portray these attacks on our race-fixated commentariat as the effete affectations of politically correct liberal woofters than it is to directly address the issue of our obvious witch hunting bastardry, so let us slyly gloss over the Samosa's entirely accurate accusations of McCarthyism.

So, in summary, Penny Laurie is - like most with the effrontery to criticise our monomaniacal zeal for partisan condemnation - very, very posh. Regular readers will know that the Encyclopedia is published straight from the Stygian blackness of our proletarian coal mine, and its hard-grafting, rough-handed writers do not take well to being ticked off by some tofu munching, proto-lesbian Jemima.

Let us then return to the good work of sniffing out vaguely suspicious opinion for political gain. We can do so secure in the knowledge that our relentless war upon reason, truth and basic human decency is the pinnacle of working class activism, rather than simply a bunch of illiberal, whining ex-Trots camouflaging their rocket propelled rightwards trajectory with a load of mealy mouthed and dishonest waffle about fascism.

Source: Never Mind The Legitimate Criticism - Here's The Bullshit, Marcus at Harry's Place.

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

When I Called It "Human Rights Watch," I Meant "Watch The Baddies, Not The Goodies"

Guest post by Robert Bernstein, founding chairman emeritus of Human Rights Watch, cross-posted from the New York Times.

As the founder of Human Rights Watch, its active chairman for 20 years and now founding chairman emeritus, I must do something that I never anticipated: I must publicly join a militant wingnut circle-jerk with a mealy-mouthed and disingenuous hissy fit of epic proportions.

HRW had as its original mission to pry open closed societies, but recently it has been issuing reports on the Israeli-Arab conflict that suggest the Israelis have been acting like a bunch of belligerent, bullet-happy lunatics with a huge, throbbing collective hard-on for politically-motivated war.

At HRW, we have always recognised that open, democratic societies have faults and commit abuses. But we saw that they have the ability to correct them - through vigorous public debate, an adversarial press and many other mechanisms that encourage reform.

Of course, some open, democratic societies' faults and abuses can sometimes continue for more than forty years with total impunity, despite showing every sign of being tacit state policy. Such societies may vigorously debate whether state violence should go all the way up to eleven or merely to ten, with the small minority of dissenters being disregarded as traitors and fifth columnists. The press may be adversarial only over the voltage by which neighbouring cities should be zapped, and reform may restrict itself to the quadrennial election of increasingly insane gaggles of paranoid, gung-ho fucknut headbangers, but I think the lesson here is clear.

A democratic nation should be able conduct morally dubious, politically convenient bombing campaigns in heavily-populated areas, then orchestrate its own sham investigation and whitewash exoneration, without having to answer a lot of impertinent questions.

Israel is highly democratic, while the Arab and Iranian regimes are brutal, closed and autocratic, permitting no dissent at all. Ergo, organisations like HRW should so totally, like, cut the Israelis some slack every time they rev up their war machines to drop some seriously righteous whizzbang somewhere in the general vicinity of some terrorists.

At this point, I'd like readers to pretend that they are unaware that HRW prepares a very large number of reports about Iraq, Iran, Egypt etcetera, and to act as if it is in some way suspicious that a human rights organisation would report on massive aerial and artillery bombardments of an essentially incarcerated population.

Dodgy, isn't it?

Anyway, Hamas and Hezbollah are both racist, genocidal organisations, and as such HRW should be aware that this somehow exempts the Israelis from obeying international law in some vague manner that I won't deign to explain in this particular bout of waffling, diversionary boo-hoo.

HRW hasn't been able to verify its reports with the Israeli leadership, largely because the entire state apparatus spent the assault and its aftermath bluntly ordering every concerned organisation, neutral monitoring body and government to fuck off, and take their Geneva Conventions with them. Clearly, if the Israeli military had been committing war crimes, they would have said so by now.

More alarmingly, HRW have had to rely on untrustworthy eyewitness accounts, because the Israelis deliberately closed the battlefield to reporters and international observers. Never mind the fact that eyewitness reports can be biased and unreliable - reporting on a conflict without having been invited to do so is bad manners, and gatecrashing the party with a load of bothersome allegations is just plain rude.

And while we're on the subject of unreliable eyewitness reports, did I mention the fact that a British general was good enough to provide a glowing statement about how the Israelis take great care not to harm civilians while they're dropping several tons of high explosives on them?

This neat juxtaposition between hundreds of eyewitness reports, backed by supporting evidence and analysis, and a British general's offhand one-liner, should tell you everything you need to know about my concerns about HRW's reporting. That's unless you feel that the implication that the former is worthless and the latter obviously truthful is basically dishonest.

So, in conclusion, Human Rights Watch needs to return to its roots by directing all of its attention at the atrocities committed by unaccountable middle eastern tyrants, and essentially grant the Israelis carte blanche to use whatever weapons they like, wherever they like, whenever they like, without raising a whisper of complaint. If not, HRW leaves itself open to accusations of relativism.

That would devalue all of the good work this wonderful organisation does by giving the impression that it's only interested in certain rights violations by a very specific group of people, and we certainly couldn't have that.

Friday, 9 October 2009

Updated - The Guardian

Reprehenisble Media Organ

The Garr-Day-Yan

1. Islamist daily newspaper published and purchased by Useful Idiots, The Guardian (See also Al-Grauniad) is the primary source of Suspicious Propaganda, disseminating Racist and Anti-American materials, deliberately and with malice aforethought deletes the names of Israeli Prime Ministers from lists of Nobel Peace Prize Winners, causing Fascists to Laugh In Celebration.

Beloved of Effete Elitists and Bruschetta-munching Hampstead Liberals, The Guardian dribbles its hate-filled bile and Moral Equivalence into the public conciousness like a leaky pisser thrust into the ear of the nation seeks to destroy Israel by intentionally pretending that no Israeli Prime Minsters have ever won the Nobel Peace Prize, thus betraying their deeply ingrained Racist hatred for Israeli Prime Ministers who have won the Nobel Peace Prize.

2. Islamist daily newspaper published and purchased by Useful Idiots that likes to pretend that their horrific, Genocidal omissions from lists of Nobel Prize Winners are data entry mistakes, causing Decents to bang their desks, insist they know lots and lots about data entry and to declare that they know Racist deletions when they see them, and by God, these are Racist deletions.

"I see that the Guardian are trying to pretend that they have merely made a data entry error in an attempt to disguise their naked and blatant malice, their hideous cruelty and their remorseless, ever-throbbing black-hearted yearning for the destruction of Israel".

"Yes, I saw that, and I for one would rather get down on my knees and fellate a bull elephant on national television than allow the Guardian to wriggle away from our entirely non-partisan, semi-psychotic circle-jerk of a Gotcha!".

"I'm sorry, did you just say you'd fellate -"

"A bull elephant, yes".


Why, This Seems Like An Entirely Sensible Issue Upon Which To Wager a Significant Amount Of Our Website's Credibility, by "Lucy Lips", Harry's Place

We Agree 100% With That Assessment And Are For Some Reason Determined To Stake Large Amounts Of Our Own Credibility Upon This Vital And In-No-Way Hilariously Insane Non-Story, by Jessica Elgot, TheJC.com

I Don't Know What The Decent Left Is, So I Don't Know Any Better, by Tim Collard, Telegraph.co.uk

I'm A Well-Respected And Well-Remunerated Commentator For One Of The World's Foremost Newspapers, Yet I Too Am Keen To Piss a Good Bit Of My Credibility Down The Drain Over This Giant Pile Of Obviously Ridiculous Internet Shite, by Daniel Finkelstein.

I Gather We're All Wagering Our Credibility On Some Idiotic Post At Harry's Place - Count Me In, by Stephen Pollard.

As a Paranoid Lunatic With No Credibility To Lose, I Wholeheartedly Endorse This Ludicrous Propaganda Wheeze, by Melanie Phillips.

This Kind Of Risible Nonsense Is Our Bread And Butter, Jerusalem Post

We Have Wingnut Morons In Canada Too, You Know, by Tom Gross

More reports to follow as this story develops...

See also - Decent Dole.

Friday, 18 September 2009

Case Law

Proceedings Of The Court Of Decency

Session 2009/10, CoD 22

James & Cohen vs. Western Feminists, Australian Local Intelligentsia, Australian Multiculturalist Ideologues, Legions of Australian Female Pundits, Western Female Thinkers, Writers In The Serious Newspapers, The Experts In Our Feminist Movement, The Irresponsible Semi-Intelligentsia, The Pampered Intelligentsia & Anti-Western Feminists

This fascinating case recently called before the Court of Decency, having been raised by journalists Clive James and Nicholas Cohen in the noted left-wing periodical Standpoint. The case has opened several legal cans of worms.

Firstly, while James and Cohen charged the entirety of western liberalism with crimes against the oppressed women of Islamic countries, a strict reading of their twin indictments revealed that their many synonyms for "western feminists" were in fact a cunning code for "Germaine Greer," and that the repeatedly-invoked "Pampered Intelligentsia" was a euphemism for "Timothy Garton-Ash and Ian Buruma".

Secondly, one need only examine the charges to recognise that this test-case has proved to be a watershed in the evolution of Decent Law.

1) That "Western Feminists" (i.e. Germaine Greer) think female genital mutilation is brilliant and, like, totally ethnic and shit;

2) That "Western Feminists" (i.e. Germaine Greer) are guilty of complaining too much about the status of women in western society, rather than Condemning the Muslims;

3) That "Western Feminists" (i.e. Germaine Greer) are in fact guilty of Not Condemning the Muslims regularly enough to avoid suspicion;

4) That several unnamed book reviewers are guilty of authoring unenthusiastic reviews of a book that Condemns the Muslims, and

5) That the "Pampered Intelligentsia" (i.e. Timothy Garton-Ash and Ian Buruma) are guilty of uttering mild criticism of Somali neo-conservative thinktanker Aayan Hirsi-Ali.

Analysis - The Court of Decency has set a revolutionary precedent by finding against the defendants on all counts.

The ruling means that in future, anonymous and possibly allegorical individuals can now be arrested, prosecuted and convicted for the arguments they don't make with unspecified regularity and at non-specific times in unnamed publications. Further, all western feminists are henceforth required to cease and desist with their yakking gossip about the status of women in western society, and are bound to restrict their empty gabble to Condemnations of the Muslims, preferably penned whilst performing menial tasks in The Kitchen.

It also establishes that even mild criticism of neo-conservative thinktankers is now a capital offence, as is the heinous and unforgiveable crime of penning unenthusiastic reviews of books that Condemn the Muslims.

Further, the ruling establishes that all western feminists are to be automatically presumed guilty of Germaine Greer in the first degree. This ruling is in stark contrast to the ruling in a 2006 case which found the Decent Left entirely innocent of Martin Amis with menaces.

Most importantly, the case will have the inevitable effect of clogging the Court of Decency with millions of cases against individuals who have failed to Condemn the Muslims with sufficient enthusiasm to escape suspicion. This analyst's research indicates that western liberals can and do spend as much as 99.9% of their waking lives Not Condemning the Muslims, and it may take years to track down and prosecute each and every one of these treacherous individuals for the arguments that they don't make.

Case Carried - Defendants Garton-Ash and Buruma sentenced to horsewhipping in the public stocks, followed by beheading; Defendant Greer to be buried and stoned to death by a ravening Decent mob. All costs to be paid by The Guardian, as is customary.

Thursday, 17 September 2009

Those EDL Protests - Mea Non Culpa

The Encyclopedia of Decency hereby wishes to disassociate itself utterly from the recent anti-Muslim protests of the so-called English Defence League in various towns and cities throughout the country.

The Encyclopedia's authors have always opposed the type of hysterical scaremongering that the EDF promote, and have been careful to impress upon readers that we firmly oppose the activities of some small Islamic political and religious extremist groups and the disgusting, politically-correct, right-on, traitorous far-leftists who wish to bring the nation to its knees before the Islamists' monomaniacal desire to destroy all that is right and true.

It appears however that some readers have somehow misinterpreted this nuanced and principled stance against small numbers of radical lunatics as a generalised animus towards all Muslims, and have posted hundreds of comments saying so over a number of years.

Nothing could be further from the truth. We at the Encyclopedia have taken great pains to show that we abhor racism in all its forms and we have repeatedly shown our support for moderates within the Islamic community such as Hassan Butt.

Nobody is more shocked than we are that this abhorrent crowd of violent racists have suddenly sprung up, as if from nowhere, with no encouragement from anyone. We have spent years warning that politically correct attitudes were opening the country to a dire threat from a very small number of Islamic extremists, and we are disgusted by these demonstrations by thugs warning that politically correct attitudes are opening the country to a dire threat from a very large number of Islamic extremists while chanting racist slogans.

That is why we, and all other Decents, can watch footage of the EDL protests then look ourselves in the mirror and say with our hands on our hearts that these marches by the far-right are entirely spontaneous, unforeseeable events that are completely unconnected to any of our activities over the past decade.

Indeed, if there's one primary victim to come out of all of this, it is principled anti-fascists like ourselves who oppose both the BNP and the Islamic extremists who infest our cities like Sharia cockroaches. After all, as Alexander Meleagrou-Hitchens says in the noted left wing periodical Standpoint, these protests make it all too easy for the anti-western, we-are-all-Hezbollah appeasers of Islamic fascism to portray our principled stance against totalitarianism as mere manipulation of racist fears for political ends.

As Hitchens the Younger further counsels, it is clear that responsibility for these protests - as with so much else - lies with the trendy multiculturalists who would prevent dissenting voices from raising awareness of the vast Islamist threat with a great volume of newspaper columns, campaigns, petitions, websites and blogs.

Let us not be dissuaded from the course upon which we are set, for we are certain that our cause is just and our aims noble. We say that no number of dunderheaded protests by racist idiots determined to "defend England" from a supposedly-unstoppable wave of foreign terrorists must deflect us from our duty to type up columns and blog posts hyping the Islamist threat. To your keyboards, comrades!


Sources -

Racists, Hooligans and Bigots: We Feel Your Pain Lads, But We Can Handle This By Ourselves, by Alexander Meleagrou-Hitchens;

Never Mind The BNP - Here's More Bloody Muslims, by "Lucy Lips", Harry's Place

"This is the terrorist-supporting 'we are Hezbollah' mob. We need all our lads to turn out to let them know they aren't welcome here," - Stop The Islamification of Europe, quoted in The Guardian

Nuffink To Do Wiv Me, Guv, Aaronovitch Watch

Saturday, 12 September 2009

Far-Left Activists

Catch-All Excuse For Bastardry

Farr Lehfft Ack-Tih-Vissts

Hilariously half-assed fuckery fig leaf, disingenuously used by Decents to disguise shit-flinging assaults on individuals and Humanitarian NGOs.

Allegorical gremlins invoked as rhetorical justification for any form of objectionable behaviour, esp. when pretending to be worried about the reputations of individuals or institutions one hates and wishes to destroy.

"Darling, what are you doing helping these hideous right wing bastards with their smear campaign against Amnesty International?"

"Why, I'm extremely concerned that the organisation has been infiltrated by far-left activists who are endangering the reputation Amnesty has accumulated with its excellent work criticising nations that I support unconditionally."

"Oh, I see. So this is like those times when your intense concern about far-left activists drove you to help those hideous right wing bastards with their smear campaigns against the International Red Cross, the UN weapons inspectors, the anti-war protestors, the Green Party, the Guardian and Ken Livingstone?"

"Yes dear, it's very much like all those times".

"And like that time when you were arrested while searching for evidence of far-left activists by sniffing the seats on the exercise bikes in the ladies' gym?"

"You can't let your guard down, honey - those far-left activists are everywhere".


Heartfelt Emotion


Serious regret and throbbing, priapic joy caused by the prospect of potential damage to institutions or individuals one hates and wishes to destroy.

Spam-throttling masturbatory ecstasy, characterised by wild outbursts of cheering, whooping and the immediate formation of furious circle-jerks.

When my friends and I heard that a gaggle of hideous right-wing bastards had slung together a pissweak smear campaign against Amnesty International, we were extremely concerned, twice.

Thursday, 15 January 2009

Universal Principles

Moral Framework

Yoo-Nih-Verr-Sull Prin-Sip-Puhls

Seemingly rigid set of intellectual beliefs based upon various human rights declarations and conventions on war which, on closer inspection, appear to contain great gaping logical canyons wide enough to pilot seven aircraft carriers, 1500 tanks, 400 artillery pieces and 200,000 soldiers through.

2. Principles with which everyone in the Universe should agree, the details of which are entirely subject to the whims of their authors and are subject to alteration at any time, without prior notification.

3. Rock-solid framework for the protection of civilians and the resolution of conflicts that would be a hell of a lot easier to grasp if it weren't for that distracting whoosh of mobile goalposts.

Wednesday, 14 January 2009


Surprisingly Fluid Military Status

Non-combatant persons against whom it is expressly forbidden to take military action, unless [Insert today's tissue-thin, exculpatory rationalisation].

are the infantry of The Greatest Intellectual Struggle Of Our Time (TGISOOT), and should thus be spent wisely.

Civilians killed in TGISOOT fall into five categories -

a) Innocent civilians - generally us, or any non-military personnel killed by them;

b) Regrettable deaths -
Persons located within a fifty-meter radius of a terrorist, tragically obliterated in a surgical strike, for which the terrorist is responsible.

Civilians whom democrats take the greatest care to avoid harming while deliberately bombing them.

Also known as Human Shields - persons located within a fifty-meter radius of a terrorist, thus shielding Decents from having to think too much about the humanity of said persons while they are being bombed by Democrats.

c) Invisible civilians - Persons allegedly killed by Democrats, as reported by the Academic/Media Complex in order to make civilised nations look bad. Thousands of putative people who probably never existed, having possibly been entirely invented by the Red Cross or The Lancet, for whose likely fictional "deaths" terrorists are responsible.

d) Jihadist civilians -
Alleged civilians who were probably terrorists anyway, who were thus asking to be blown to smithereens, for whose wholly-justified deaths terrorists are responsible, and

e) The little children - minors who have been bombed and are subsequently photographed while being kissed better by military doctors, before they are sent back home to be bombed all over again, for which terrorists bear responsibility.

See also, Al-Qaedification, Terrorism-By-Proxy, Terrorists Are Bad.

Sunday, 11 January 2009

From This Weekend's Protests

Pictures from Saturday's march against the Israeli bombing of Gaza, below...

...And pictures from this morning's wonderful pro-Israel, pro-peace march.

Truly, pictures speak louder than words.


Like "News", Only More So


Of news-gathering and reporting agencies, the practice of relating world events in a manner that does not offend the fucknut prejudices of ones head-banging political constituency.

2. Of Some Guy With a Website, the practice of instantly leaping to the most one-eyed, crack-addled, arse-brained position on any particular issue, and using implications of racism and bias as a stick with which to beat one's political enemies to death.

Example 1. When The Guardian declares that the team one supports are Using a Sledgehammer to Crack a Nut, one should pen a lengthy column contending that the Sledgehammers do not exist, and that the Nuts are genocidal terrorists.

Example 2. When the team you support then publicly announce that they have requested an emergency shipment of Sledgehammers from the Republicans to help with the Nut-Cracking, one should instantly question the suspicious obsessions of The Guardian and condemn George Galloway.

"That's why Nick Cohen is a must-read - he provides much-needed balance... Thank God for the Decent Dole."

Tuesday, 6 January 2009


Rock-Solid Sourcing/Despicable Lies


1. 100% accurate information about teleporting terrorists gleaned from the armed forces of one's government after after they have bombed a military target in a surgical strike.

"Credible reports indicate that several thousand heavily-armed terrorists were identified at the scene moments before the attack, but evaporated like fascistic steam a split-second before the cruise missiles tragically blew the Red Cross hospital to smithereens."

2. Thought-provoking
information that should not be dismissed out of hand, as gleaned from Some Guy With a Website. Esp. any information suggesting that the armed forces of one's government may not have bombed the military target after all, and that the real culprits were mysterious, teleporting terrorists.

"Interesting reports indicate that the "Red Cross" "doctors" and "nurses" "killed" at the scene may in fact have been heavily-armed terrorists... As Zombietime reports, when you rewind the film of the attack, you can see that the "civilians" spontaneously jump up off the floor, walls and ceiling and magically stick their limbs and heads back onto their suddenly-unharmed torsos, before walking away... Backwards."

3. Despicable totalitarian propaganda about unverified, alleged bombing, as credulously reported by the Academic/Media Complex to demonise democrats.

"Hysterical reports indicate that 20 "Red Cross" "doctors" and "nurses" were "killed" at the scene, but regular readers will have seen last week's Zombietime reports which proved that - (Cough, Cough, Mumble) ... selflessly and deliberately sacrifice their own soldiers to minimise civilian casualties."

Disgusting rhetorical inflation of alleged bombing, if not outright collaboration with fascists, as commonly practiced by Humanitarian NGO's to demonise democrats.

"Incredible reports indicate that the Red Cross deliberately bombed its own doctors and nurses because it is - (Cough, Mumble, Cough) ...rough bumsex with the Mullahs and hot, steamy, no-holes-barred action with Hezbollah and Hamas."

Remarkably subjective data disproving once and for all the possibility of death itself.

See also - On The Deaths In Jabalya; Massaging The News; Every Loon On The Internet For The Next Three Weeks

Sunday, 4 January 2009

The Bruschetta Awards 2008, Part One

What a year it's been for Muscular Liberalism, with a plethora of hot wars over which to wax priapic and a cavalcade of vacant-skulled lefties to denounce. Some had feared that the epic clusterfuck that was the invasion and occupation of Iraq might dull the lustre of the Decent Left, but they have proved in spectacular style that there is literally no military disaster so enormous and horrifying that it can't be shamelessly blown off as an irrelevance.

And so the time has come to hand out the gongs for the most outstanding contribution to Decent discourse...

First off, let us bow our heads in deep respect to Marko Attilla Hoare, who carries off the Sara Lee Award for the simultaneous retention and consumption of cake for his diagram-doodling skills.

Unlike his fellow Decents, Mr. Attilla Hoare was not content to cuddle up to right wing lunatics and espouse terrible right wing ideas, while insisting that he represents the real left. Rather, he dumped the old Left/Right political divide entirely and created a new system in which he and his new wingnut pals are the Goodies and those who disagree are the Baddies. Hats off, sir - lesser men would be too embarrassed to attempt such hilarious mental gymnastics, but you have dared to dream.

Mr. Attilla Hoare also carries off the Bellicosity Bauble for the promotion of unwinnable wars for his antics during the Russo-Georgian war - a conflict that much of the world believed was being fought in Georgia, between the states of Georgia and Russia. Mr. Attilla Hoare knew better, and proclaimed that the Russians were in fact making war upon Israel, that it was thus 1939 and he was Churchill.

"So by any reckoning, Putin’s kill-toll at the present time is worse than Hitler’s was at the time of Munich. Having said that, I’m entirely ready to recognise the differences between Hitler and Putin." MAH, 21st August 2008

Indeed - Hitler was Austrian and is dead, whereas Putin is Russian and alive. Apart from that, they're indistinguishable. Well done, sir.

The Coalface Gong for the denunciation of the despicable views of hypothetical middle class liberals goes to "Clothes For Chaps" writer Andrew Anthony, for his Stakhanovite mining graft down The Guardian's pit.

The Wankshaft Award For Barking-Wingnuttery-Dressed-Up-As-Left-Analysis
could've gone to Nasty Nick Cohen for his column Nelson Mandela Is A Gutless Pussy; he could've won it for his column Right-Wing Psychos Aren't Harsh Enough On Liberals, and he only just missed out with his column Sarah Palin Is Lovely And The Left Are Bastards.

In the end, Nick couldn't produce a piece of wingnut lunacy that was barking enough to compete with Democratiya editor Alan Johnson's decision to publish a softball interview with wingnut loon and doom-bonkers racial obsessive Dr. Andrew Bostom. A masterstroke, and a golden moment in Decency that should be recalled every time Johnson decries "the left's alliance with nasty right wingers".

And finally for this segment, kudos is due to Denis MacShane MP, whose indefatigable research into racist, trendy dinner parties earns him the Islingtonian Award for anecdotal anti-semitism. Thanks to him, we are all now aware of the alleged conversational habits of nameless, notional liberals at the unspecified dinner parties of modish London.

Gentlemen, you are an example to us all. Congratulations!